A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back.

As a man handles his troubles during the day, so he goes to bed at night a General, Captain, or Private.

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

If you go to church, and like the singing better than the preaching, that's not orthodox.

I believe in grumbling; it is the politest form of fighting known.

There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.

I try to have no plans the failure of which would greatly annoy me. Half the unhappiness in the world is due to the failure of plans which were never reasonable, and often impossible.