As soon as the people fix one Shame of the World, another turns up.

The most agreeable thing in life is worthy accomplishment. It is not possible that the idle tramp is as contented as the farmers along the road who own their own farms, and whose credit is good at the bank in town. When the tramps get together at night, they abuse the farmers, but do not get as much satisfaction out of it as do the farmers who abuse the tramps. The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it.

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

A loafer never works except when there is a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody.

There must be some good in the cocktail party to account for its immense vogue among otherwise sane people.

The little trouble in the world that is not due to love is due to friendship.

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.