As a man handles his troubles during the day, so he goes to bed at night a General, Captain, or Private.

So long as we do not blow our brains out, we have decided life is worth living.

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.

Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.

When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.

If you go to church, and like the singing better than the preaching, that's not orthodox.