Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public.

A loafer never works except when there is a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody.

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.

When I am idle and shiftless, my affairs become confused; when I work, I get results ... not great results, but enough to encourage me.

There must be some good in the cocktail party to account for its immense vogue among otherwise sane people.

As a man handles his troubles during the day, so he goes to bed at night a General, Captain, or Private.