Don't be crazy to do a lot of things you can't do.

A women could never be President. A condidate must be over 35, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.

Express a mean opinion of yourself occasionally; it will show your friends that you know how to tell the truth.

Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present.

One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.