Put cream and sugar on a fly and it tastes very much like a raspberry.

Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.

Express a mean opinion of yourself occasionally; it will show your friends that you know how to tell the truth.

A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country

When a man dies, and his kin are glad of it, they say, "He is better off."

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.