I express many absurd opinions. But I am not the first man to do it; American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.

If you have sense enough to realize why flies gather around a restaurant, you should be able to appreciate why men run for office.

Every successful person I have heard of has done the best he could with the conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

You can't do anything unless you do it yourself. And usually you can't do it yourself very well.

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

Loving everybody is polygamy. I care for no friend who loves his enemy equally well.