They just talk drivel. Whoever is winning is great, whoever isn't, isn't. It's banal. And also semi-literate at times ... they never criticise in an intelligent way. Anything that isn't banal is said to be an outburst. They've created this cartoon world where everyone talks like Lineker and says nothing.

Usually it takes a bottle of Bacardi and a gallon of Coke to get John out of his seat.

Kilbane's head is better than his feet. If only he had three heads, one on the end of each leg.

Ability and guts is an unbeatable combination.

That's the first time I've seen sex between two men on the BBC.

You need dictatorships and poverty to produce great footballers.

I'll have you know that I am not a failed Third Division footballer. I am a failed Second Division footballer.