Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

Horse racing is waning in popularity.

I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.'