We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.

I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.