People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

I just get the feeling that if Jesse Helms was in charge of art in America, you'd go into a museum and see nothing but prints of dogs playing cards.

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.

A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.

People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.

Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.