You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

The thing about breaking up when you get older, you just don't have the steam anymore. "Oh, that's it. I can't start shaving my legs above the knee again."

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.