Calgary wins for my coldest New Year's Eve gig. That's when I learned Fahrenheit and Celsius cross at 40 below. I could see callers' breath coming out of my phone.

People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.

Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'