Horse racing is waning in popularity.

I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.

The thing about breaking up when you get older, you just don't have the steam anymore. "Oh, that's it. I can't start shaving my legs above the knee again."

Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full.

President Bush said he didn't want to renew the Assault Weapons Ban because it might 'infringe on hunters' rights'. Who needs an AK-47 machine gun to go hunting? Let me tell you guys something... If it takes you 500 rounds to bring down a deer, I don't want you going to the bathroom in MY house!

The message of great art is to disturb.

I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.