Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.

I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.

Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn't allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won't allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected.