Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.

I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.

I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.

There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.

San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.

Horse racing is waning in popularity.

Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don't even have a word for 'male bimbo.' Except maybe 'senator.