A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.

The message of great art is to disturb.

I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.

President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.