I took my grandmother to the emergency room. The doctor said that she was on an artificial life support system, and that although her brain was dead her heart was still beating. I though, "we've never had a democrat in the family before".
Emo PhilipsI was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code.
Emo PhilipsMy sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.
Emo PhilipsAt my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
Emo Philips