I'm filthy stinking rich - well, two out of three ain't bad.
Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.
When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.
I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.
Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, how are you going to get into the corners?"