I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.

I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn't I see you on television? I said, I don't know. You can't see out the other way.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I caught my wife in bed with my best friend the other day. I was crushed. They could have waited till I'd got out.

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.