I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.

My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

The other night, the president gave a speech. He said, "children are our most prescious natural resource". I thought, "let's hope it never comes to that".

But I like to swim. At high school, I tried out for the swim team. I shaved off all my body hair, and that extra burst of speed from all the bullies shouting Kill the fairy.