Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.

I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.

Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.

Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.

I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code.

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.