Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.
You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.
I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady...take your purse.'
My sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She'll be in front of everyone with her um... breast... out feeding it. You know... cereal or whatever.
The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference.