Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.

The nicest present I ever got was an exploding suppository.

Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, Why limit yourselves?

I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.

Even the worst comic is at least somewhat entertaining, if only in a pathological way, for five minutes.

Race is still somewhat of a taboo in comedy. But if you're a minority, then you can make fun of your own minority. And that's a nice service that many of them provide.

I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"