Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.

I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine.

I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.

You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.

I asked the head musician if I could go onstage during the next break and he said sure. I got two laughs in twenty minutes, and walked out feeling more elated than I had ever felt in my entire life. The glory of that triumph contented me for two full years.

Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.

I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.