Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get there. Not one comedian in the world ever really knows.
Emo PhilipsThe IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference.
Emo PhilipsI go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.
Emo Philips