I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.

I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.

Libertarians believe consenting adults have the right to do whatever they choose, except band together.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.

The subconscious is like having a laboratory assistant who pretends to love you and help you, but after you go home to go to sleep it goes back into the lab and starts fumbling with the data and destroying it. It's a very tricky thing. People think our minds are us, but that's not true at all. The mind is not us.

New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.