I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.

I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.

Even the worst comic is at least somewhat entertaining, if only in a pathological way, for five minutes.

My parents had very strict rules for me. Rules like, I couldn't be home until a certain hour.

The American government is making nuclear weapons like there's no tomorrow.

Anger punishes the bearer's heart. Who remains angry suffers most. For many, the search for perfection virtually guarantees it will be found, and disregarded in order to continue the search. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

Because we allow handguns. When you know someone in the crowd might be packing a rod, it can't help but rush your timing.