My parents had very strict rules for me. Rules like, I couldn't be home until a certain hour.

I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.

They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.

I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.

I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"

People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.