Anger punishes the bearer's heart. Who remains angry suffers most. For many, the search for perfection virtually guarantees it will be found, and disregarded in order to continue the search. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.