I'm filthy stinking rich - well, two out of three ain't bad.

I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code.

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, how are you going to get into the corners?"

Anger punishes the bearer's heart. Who remains angry suffers most. For many, the search for perfection virtually guarantees it will be found, and disregarded in order to continue the search. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I go to pick up a girl in a bar. I say will you go home with me? She says I don't know, do you have cable? I say no, but the rope should work just fine.

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.