He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

I never cheated on my wife. I took seriously those vows of celibacy.

I saw a psychologist once because I thought I had depression. It cost me $100. When I left, I realised that there's nothing he could have said that would cheer me up as much as if I found a $100 bill on my way home.

My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.

I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.

Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, Why limit yourselves?

I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.