When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.

I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.

I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.