When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.

I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!

I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.

I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.

I'm not as good a swimmer as I used to be - thanks to evolution.

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.