People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.
Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.
Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.
I'm totally normal in every respect, but I have this one quirk - I can't give out a number without laughing. It's a problem when I'm giving my credit card number over the phone because they always think: 'He must have just stolen it.'
I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code.