Don't wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?

I used to get drunk every night until I puked. Finally I admitted, "I am a bulemic".

I don't know if I have sexual magnetism or animal magnetism, though sometimes I'll find a squirrel stuck to my forehead.

Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.

Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, Why limit yourselves?

Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.