I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.

My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo.

Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.