You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.
I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.
I asked the head musician if I could go onstage during the next break and he said sure. I got two laughs in twenty minutes, and walked out feeling more elated than I had ever felt in my entire life. The glory of that triumph contented me for two full years.
The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.
For some reason, religious jokes seem as trivial as jokes about food or driving.
They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.