I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

My dad always said, If someone hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Plus that also works wonderfully as a metaphor.

I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.

Don't wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'