People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Anger punishes the bearer's heart. Who remains angry suffers most. For many, the search for perfection virtually guarantees it will be found, and disregarded in order to continue the search. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.

I saw a psychologist once because I thought I had depression. It cost me $100. When I left, I realised that there's nothing he could have said that would cheer me up as much as if I found a $100 bill on my way home.

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.