The nicest present I ever got was an exploding suppository.
Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo.
The Scots are a very tough people. They have drive-by headbuttings. In Glasgow a sweatband is considered a silencer.
You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.
Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.
I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'