Libertarians believe consenting adults have the right to do whatever they choose, except band together.

Girls throw their panties on the stage, but rarely if ever do they fit.

Because we allow handguns. When you know someone in the crowd might be packing a rod, it can't help but rush your timing.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.

I caught my wife in bed with my best friend the other day. I was crushed. They could have waited till I'd got out.

Race is still somewhat of a taboo in comedy. But if you're a minority, then you can make fun of your own minority. And that's a nice service that many of them provide.