Libertarians believe consenting adults have the right to do whatever they choose, except band together.

When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.

The subconscious is like having a laboratory assistant who pretends to love you and help you, but after you go home to go to sleep it goes back into the lab and starts fumbling with the data and destroying it. It's a very tricky thing. People think our minds are us, but that's not true at all. The mind is not us.

I used to think I knew everything, but older you get the more you see other areas. If you could read everything about both sides, you'll pretty much be in the middle again, which is the state you had when you were totally ignorant. So my theory is if you maintain total ignorance - which isn't easy, but I try - you'll be just as far ahead as if you'd spent days and days reading about the whole issue. And you have that much extra time to play Pac-man.

I go to pick up a girl in a bar. I say will you go home with me? She says I don't know, do you have cable? I say no, but the rope should work just fine.

Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.

My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.