Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them!
The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.
You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.
I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.
I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.