A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.
I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.
The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn't I see you on television? I said, I don't know. You can't see out the other way.
I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.
Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.