Race is still somewhat of a taboo in comedy. But if you're a minority, then you can make fun of your own minority. And that's a nice service that many of them provide.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

My sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She'll be in front of everyone with her um... breast... out feeding it. You know... cereal or whatever.

Don't wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?

I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.

My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.

I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.