I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
I used to get drunk every night until I puked. Finally I admitted, "I am a bulemic".
I never cheated on my wife. I took seriously those vows of celibacy.
All the nations of the earth must learn to live together in peace. Why be prejudiced against anyone because of their race, nationality, or creed? When there's so many real reasons to hate others.
Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.
I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"