My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

I tried body surfing once, but how often do you find a corpse?

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.

Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.

Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'