I tried body surfing once, but how often do you find a corpse?

Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can't continue with the "urbane sophisticate" 'til the day I die.

Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.

I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.

A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.

Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.

Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.