I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
Emo PhilipsI wanted to get from 4th street to 8th... Then I remembered Einstein postulating that parallel lines eventually meet. They're dredging my car from Lake Michigan as we speak.
Emo PhilipsI've been at stand-up 26 years now: After a while, you get as jaded as the proverbial gynecologist who no longer enjoys drugging and violating his patients.
Emo Philips