I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.
Emo PhilipsI asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
Emo PhilipsI go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.
Emo Philips