So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them!

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.

I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.

I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic... in morse code.

I don't really hang out with people. I like to be by myself. In fact, I've been arrested a few times because I like to walk around at two or three in the morning, looking at shop windows. The cops take me to the station and fingerprint me. But I wouldn't call that hanging out.

I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.