I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.
I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.
I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
I've been at stand-up 26 years now: After a while, you get as jaded as the proverbial gynecologist who no longer enjoys drugging and violating his patients.
The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn't I see you on television? I said, I don't know. You can't see out the other way.