Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.

My mom gave me one of those cloth calendars for the kitchen. It took me three hours to sew in a dental appointment.

I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.

When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.

I'm a great lover, I'll bet.