When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!" One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun.

I got a job at an amusement park. I like to make the rides more terrifying by throwing a couple of screws onto the seats.

When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!

People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

I think of people as members of an audience. But an audience acts independently of every individual. It's an organism on its own. I focus on that living hydra in the dark.

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.