Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
I learned about sex the hard way... from books.
I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.