Well! I feel happy these days. I've started taking a herbal anti-depressant. It's called Saint John's Wort. Apparently it's the best-selling anti-depressant in many places. It's the most popular anti-depressant in Germany... After, I'm guessing, amnesia.

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.

I caught my wife in bed with my best friend the other day. I was crushed. They could have waited till I'd got out.

I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.

I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.